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♥
R FOR REBECCA
A little bit of narcissism won't hurt, and vanity isn't a sin.
Email: rebeccaa.-@hotmail.com
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Monday, August 4, 2008
Happiness, Pain or Sorrow?
I don't know if I'm really happy with what I am now,
life is so fucked up! Yes, its so fucked up with lots of
shitty issues which i have zero ideas of how to solve it.
I wondered, when was the last time did I last smiled with real happiness...
I longed for that smile of mine, but now i realised i could not longer
smile like i used to. No longer~
Today, this post is for you.
Your request, you know it'll take me quite a period of time,
how long how short i don't know either. So ive decided not
to drag things any longer, i shall cut down the pain.
Im so not worth your love, not worth it!
I knew deep within it's really hard for me learn to trust guys,
learn how to hold on to my phobia strong, learn how to have low confidence in myself
and not to love like how I used to love. I wanna apologize to you & i wanna
thank you for the gifts, the promises you had for me. I thank you for the hope u placed on me even though the disappointments were getting bigger each time. The wounds in your heart,
it cannot be healed by me. Even by carrying on but the love wasn't real, the hurt would have been more painful, more real. I hope you can understand this.
I didn't wanna be cruel, but I really didn't know what more to do.
I'm sorry & I sincerely hoped we can still be friends.
Seriously i hope i can find ways to ease the pain. In time to come,
probably I'd realize that I'd actually letten go of a love that's good,
& I know that day will come.
I knew that for all that i've done, there will be the price I'd hafta pay.
Retribution will come after me. And I know soon it won't be you
who 'd be chasing behind me, but Karma will.
Please pardon me for being so selfish, i know it hasn't
been fair to you. I'm really really sorry.
Now, i really love feeling carefree, not abit panicky over boyfriend or stuffs.
Still, I'd really wish to find back my old self, 'cos i know im not like this.
You'll definitely find someone a thousand times better than me.
Thanks for everything.
Love needs courage.
爱真的需要勇气。
永遠の愛
♥♥♥